The Red Canon: House of Wax (2005)
I joke that I have a very specific preference when it comes to my favorite horror movies. If it’s set in the rural South and the whole conflict can be avoided by simply not making fun of the circumstances the antagonists live in, it’s getting five stars. The principles adhere well to the majority of my Letterboxd “most watched”: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and its first sequel, House of 1000 Corpses, Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, and the much maligned remake of House of Wax.
I get why people take the piss out of House of Wax: it’s a very mid-2000s horror movie in every sense of the phrase. Admittedly, the film had a lot working against it. The production company– Dark Castle Entertainment– had a hand in some of the most universally panned horror flicks of the past 30 years. The House on Haunted Hill remake was only beat out by The Haunting as the worst horror film of the 1990s per the Razzies and popular genre fan opinion, 13 Ghosts — although having both King Matthew Lillard and a cult following nearly two decades later– also was critically reviled as was director Steve Beck’s other venture Ghost Ship. Dark Castles’ reputation with remakes certainly set House of Wax up to fail in the eyes of critics. The other critical fault was the casting which is a fun time capsule of the year 2005. Most of the main cast (final girl Elisha Cuthbert, possible heartthrob Chad Michael Murray, Southern Dude Brian Van Holt, and other arguable hunk Jared Padalecki) were all CW channel transplants aimed at pulling in a teen-heavy audience. Arguably the most ballsy pick was casting socialite and avid scandal-haver Paris Hilton as a victim and centering the majority of the marketing campaign around her. When the bulk of a movie’s promotional material is centered on the tagline “See Paris Die”, I’m not going to blame people for writing off the movie as gimmicky or stupid.
Despite the mountain of evidence pointing towards House of Wax being unwatchable garbage it’s got so much more going for it! As I mentioned earlier, nearly all the special effects, from the wax figures and architecture in the titular House of Wax to the plentiful amounts of blood and guts, are practically done which is a breath of fresh air in the rudimentary CGI-heavy 2000s era of horror. Compared to the digital look of other big-budget horror films that followed like the My Bloody Valentine remake (2009) and Dead Silence (2007), House of Wax contains a weird authenticity in just how real everything feels. The other technical aspect where the film shines is the direction by Jaume Collet-Serra in his directorial debut. Extended overhead pans of the (exquisitely constructed) town of Ambrose, Louisiana really capture the inherent freakiness of a ghost town establishing the Bad Place even before a single resident is met. The cinematography lends itself to iconic chase sequences though the one that is referenced the most is (naturally) Paris Hilton’s as it was the selling point of the film.
I’d also like to debunk the critical reports of the characters as “shallow”. It’s not entirely incorrect because while the supporting cast is more or less left to the wayside, they’re all given a little bit of a fun dynamic. Dalton (John Abrahams) is good comic relief (and also maybe in love with Nick?), Paige (Paris Hilton) is actually given a believable friendship with Carly, Wade’s a good Southern boy, and Blake (Robert Ri’Chard) is Wade’s fuckboy counterpart. Even the ~surprise~ third Sinclair brother Lester (Damon Herriman) is shown as an off-putting yet somehow charming rural chap in the same vein as Nubbins from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. However, it’s the parallels between Carly and Nick (Chad Michael Murray) and Bo and Vincent (both Brian Van Holt)that give House of Wax a little more depth. If you squint, the set up of the two sets of twins works as a commentary on how familial guilt can manifest and affectsibling bonds. Carly and Vincent are the “good” twins favored by their parents for their marketable talent while Nick and Bo are the “evil” twins subject to a combination of verbal and physical abuse at the hands of their parents because they’re continually seen as lesser. Mommy/daddy/sibling issues are by no means new motives for any villain much less one in the horror genre, there’s a certain je ne sais quoi about the extent of the Sinclair brothers’ trauma and what led them to become the bastardized versions of Carly and Nick.
Bo and Vincent’s dynamic is the result of hurt that never got resolved: Bo’s got a bit of trauma bonding with his mother who, in the opening scene, greenlights binding him to a chair with leather straps and duct tape and bitchslaps him into the title card transition all while comparing him to the more docile Vincent. As an adult, it’s obvious Bo’s familial trauma affects his actions both towards future victims and his brother. Bo treats victims he tasks himself with in an eerily similar manner to how his parents treated him: binding them to a chair with duct tape and leather straps. He also apologizes to his mother’s corpse for the damage done to the wax residents. Based on the Polaroids in the background of his little torture time with Carly, it’s also implied that Bo’s taking out some frustration by being a little freaqq in the nonconsensual sexual activities way (we’re privy to a bit of this when he kisses Carly’s Superglued mouth). Vincent’s relationship with his parents is a little less clear than Bo’s– mostly due to his limited screen appearance and the fact he doesn’t speak– but considering his non-human based work litters his mother’s curated House of Wax and there’s a newspaper clipping toting his accomplishments in the family home it’s safe to assume he had a much less complicated relationship with his parents. However, as an adult, Vincent’s preferential treatment comes to bite him in the ass when stuck with his twin. Regardless if Vincent’s willingly complicit in turning accidental tourists into permanent wax citizens, Bo still treats him like shit. It’s obvious Bo harbors jealousy towards his twin despite having no parents to compare the two for decades; Nick and Carly had the potential to devolve into this cycle of hatred and never moving past their childhood but (due to circumstance) they separate themselves from the Sinclairs.
Obviously, I’m more willing to do obscene mental gymnastics for House of Wax because it strikes a lot of weird chords with me. First, I’m from a town similar to Ambrose: small and literally on the map because of a single tourist destination; the group of kids are also (allegedly) graduating from my college. The weird comfort of watching a horror film play out in a familiar setting is what made this film a near instant favorite — well that and the music. The House of Wax soundtrack is an encapsulation of the emo and numetal reverberating off the walls of the local mall’s Hot Topic and it’s just so pleasing to my ears. On a slightly more personal level, and as absolutely sick as it sounds, the Sinclair twins are easily some of my favorite horror characters for a myriad of reasons. Between Bo’s relationship to his mother being similar to my own (that’s it’s own can of worms), Vincent giving me serious gender envy, and the fact that they’re such underexplored characters that I can fill in all the gaps with my own ideas I have such fun with these little sadistic bitches.
While, obviously, House of Wax is nowhere near the best horror film ever made — hell it’s not even the best of the 2000s — it’s not the shitshow that it’s been written off as. In terms of remakes, it’s an original spin on an old tale rife with references to its predecessors. In terms of horror, it’s gross compared to other big-budget horror of the era. It’s got a little spot in my heart: it’s my little garbage fire.
